The pig is an animal often maligned
By ignorant, biased, ungrateful mankind
I’m sure if he could he’d much rather stay thinner
We fatten him up so there’s plenty for dinner
He’s subject to sundry splenetic abuses
But look at the pig’s multitudinous uses:

The man with his head has an obstinate air
And we compliment p’licemen by lik’ning the pair
For 21 shillings he changes his ilk
But the ear of his wife makes no wallet of silk
He serves as a bank for our kids when they’re young
And he lives in their toes when the market rhyme’s sung
His tail in her hair makes my daughter look sweet –
If his home’s in her bedroom, it doesn’t look neat!
Put him in the centre, he catches the sphere
And Poohlet’s his friend in Milne’s tales, so I hear
Three build better houses when wolves have attacked
And some fly when the odds are impossibly stacked.

So don’t be a pig to the pig, mon ami,
Without him our language much poorer would be

From “A Pun – My Word!”