A roll of the eyes and a shake of the head
Are a poetic punmaker’s butter and bread
The louder the groaning the broader my grin
My loonyVerse beckons: why wait?

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Winner of the July 2024 Poem of the Month Competition on poetry.com

They Say that I … How’s Your Mom?
or
I Got Distracted Trying to Think of a Subtitle…

They say that I have A.D.D.
Attention Defi… Hey a bee!
It isn’t true, I’m not like that
I’m focused perfec… Wow! a cat!
I don’t know why they mock me so
There’s nothing wrong with… Hi there, Joe!
I’ll get revenge, I’ll cause them pain
They’ll wish they’d nev… Look, look! A plane!

From now on I will concentrate
Mmmm… squash or cordial… No. Wait.
Breathe deeply … one thing at a time
The time? It’s one o’clock and I’m
So hungry I … oh what the heck
This poem is a total wreck
To prove I’m not a hopeless twit
I got my wife to finish it

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Poem of the day…

Eye Chart? What Eye Chart?

Little Red Riding Hood saw an optician
In response to the woodcutter’s fervent petition
The resemblance is not what you’d label ‘uncanny’
But she can’t tell a great hairy wolf from her granny

I Could have Called Him Acne

Mel asked me, “Why’s your dog’s name Spot?
It should be Tar or Pitch instead!”
I answered, “I hear that a lot –
You see … he has a big black head.”

There Are None So Blind

I think I’ll beat my child tonight
I must find some excuse
It makes me feel so powerful
When meting out abuse