The first little pig built his house out of straw
Then the building inspector arrived at the door
“The plans for this dwelling have not met approval C
This baleful construction is marked for removal.”
So he huffed and he puffed and he blew that house down
While the piggy looked on with a sinister frown

The second small pig built his house out of sticks
But the wolf with the clipboard said, “You’re in a fix –
This structure does not meet the town regulations
It’s prone to destruction by wind fluctuations.”
So he huffed and he puffed and he blew that house flat
While two piggies looked on and conspired where they sat

The third little pig built his house out of stone
And the wolf said, “Two grand and I’ll leave you alone.”
He came down the chimney intent on extortion
But the heat of the fire caused his mission’s abortion
Though he huffed and he puffed he expired in the pan
While three piggies looked on and the party began

Now that, you might think, is the end of the tale
But the three little pigs are now housed in the jail
Their sentence pronounced through the process judicial
For the crime of cremating a Council official
Though they huffed and they puffed that their victim was bad
You just can’t kill a wolf if the judge is his dad

From “Out of the Frying Pun”