“At last that promotion!” Luigi was thinking
A torch at the end of the warehouse was blinking
The Mafia soon would arrive with their booty
And Sicily’s sergeant was doing his duty

Two years he had followed, had hunted, had waited
Till certain his trap had been perfectly baited
In minutes his efforts would come to a climax
He’d stare at The Family boss and say, “Hi Max!”

Max Illae, ‘The Shark’, was a terrible creature
The scar on his face his most beautiful feature
His consorts ex-con sorts, his pleasures horrendous
His lifestyle a medley of crime, drugs and benders

By contrast, his broad, Mandy Bulls, was exquisite
The kind every gentleman wanted to visit
She’d lie on the beach in her teeny bikini
And listen to Verdi and hum to Puccini

Luigi (reluctantly) had to befriend her –
To work on the case – and from Max to defend her
A couple of days on the sand, he conceded,
Although a grave hardship, were just what he needed

Now into the ambush came Max, unsuspecting,
Surrounded by minders intent on protecting
The man who unwillingly forked out their wages
To save him from enemies’ vengeance and rages

Our valiant defender of justice was ready
He stifled his nerves and he kept his voice steady
As out of the depths of the warehouse he hollered,
“The game’s up Max Illae, this time you are collared!”

There’s only one detail that he hadn’t thought o’
He’d lain in the sun for two days and a quarter
Luigi the p’liceman was red as a lobster
He glowed in the dark and was shot by the mobster.

From “A Pun – My Word!”