(To the tune of the original)

Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer
Visited his therapist
Three times a week he saw him
As the magistrates insist
All of the other reindeer
Laughed at him and called him, “Scum”
They won’t let him forget it –
He was once a drunken bum

Late one foggy Christmas Eve
Rudolph crashed the sleigh
Santa and the cops said, “Right,
You have drunk too much tonight!”

Then all the reindeers jeered him
As they shouted out with glee,
“Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer,
Off to penitentiary!”

From “A Flash In The Pun”