Penelope has never had a boyfriend or a lover
It seems the task of finding one is simply way above ’er
Her mother says if she don’t find a husband ere December
She’ll kick her out the house so hard she won’t even remember!

Spurred on by desperation she has done some earnest scheming
She’s formed a plan of action – after all these years of dreaming
On bonfire night she’ll go see if the rugby club has any
Accepters when she calls out, “Do you have a guy for Penny?”

From “A Pun – My Word!”