The advertisers tell us if
We buy their brand of cigarettes
We’ll soon be plagued by pretty girls
Blonde bombshells, redheads and brunettes
All puffers lead a perfect life
They’re always laughing, telling jokes
And don’t you know that everyone
Who lives in Monte Carlo smokes?
Just buy your fags and pack your bags
For cruising on the QE2
Or ski in Aspen with the rich –
Do anything you want to do!
Forget the warnings on the packs
Ignore the fact they make you stink
There’s only one man happier
And that’s the man who turns to drink!

From “A Flash In The Pun”