Humbug the hippo skipped down to the pool
Desiring a dippo his tootsies to cool
When spying a lady he started to drool
They never told him about such things in school


Humbug, our hero, was stopped in his tracks
By feelings so queero like twelve heart attacks
His cheeks were assaulted by sixty-six smacks
And his ears overheated and melted the wax


Humbug, besotted, desiring success,
Much faster he trotted, so keen to impress
A ton and three quarters of sheer gorgeousness
In the shape of a nubile hippopotamess


The lady was flattered by Humbug’s attention
She chattered and chattered without intervention
Our suitor developed acute hypertension
The beauty was boring beyond comprehension!


Humbug skedaddled and fled for his life
He couldn’t be saddled with that for a wife
Young lovers be warned – though the theory is rife –
If beauty’s your object, you’re looking for strife!


From “Out of the Frying Pun”