I met a man the other day
A luv’ly feller, I must say,
He spoke of opportunity –
Of earning with impunity
Of bonuses like tax rebates
And telescopic interest rates
Of wealthy folk and snobbery
With zero risk of robbery
A bank where scientific men
Apply with astronomic ken
Their skill, attaining lofty heights
Meticulously working nights
He showed me snaps of their HQ
All fancy domes and well-to-do
Their staff in white all neatly dressed
I tell you, I was most impressed!
I gave him all the cash we had
(My wife and me, my mum and dad)
Won’t they be pleased when they find out
They’ll jump around, they’ll squeal and shout
I even borrowed from our friends
So keen was I to make amends
For last time when I bought a share
Of Scotland’s “Castle Intheeyaire”
But that was when I was a fool
I’ve learned my lesson, now I’m cool
This time it’s neither con nor prank
Our money’s safe in Jodrell Bank!*

* Jodrell Bank is the astronomical research centre of the University of Manchester

From “A Pun – My Word!”