My name is Polly Tishun
And I’m known for being vague,
And making empty promises
From Sydney to the Hague;
I travel long and far and wide
Your precious vote to woo,
And tell you things I know will please
But never plan to do.


My name is Polly Tishun,
With the money that I earn,
The int’rests of the wealthy
I protect at every turn;
And family, and friends, of course,
And those who play their part –
Nepotism I have honed
Down to the finest art.


My name is Polly Tishun
And I’m really rather vain,
I do this for publicity
And huge financial gain;
I ride around in limousines,
I always go first class,
And if, perchance, you want something
You’ll have to kiss my … feet.


So let your cheers ring loud and true
Send cheques to swell my coffers,
Hurry to the polling booths
And vote me into office;
Then send congratulations in
By telegrams and faxes,
And keep them coming through the years
Or else I’ll raise you taxes!


From “A Flash In The Pun”