I dated one summer a lady named Susan
Whose father, a drunkard, was oftentimes bruisin’
Her mother and her for no rhyme or good reason
But all the year round it was “broad-beating season”.
At first I could not understand her distraction
Until I found out, then I sprang into action
I sneaked them away to a safe destination
– I thought – until one day without explanation
Her daddy discovered the place we were hiding
And into the house in a rage he came striding
His face red as beetroot, his frantic eyes bulging
Agog with the bloodlust he’d soon be indulging,
“Just wait till you see what I’m gonna do to yer,”
I heard the old man scream, “BY GAWD, I WILL SUE YER!”
But lawyers and courts? They were not his intention
(His meaning was almost too awful to mention)
He chased my poor Susan and when he had caught her
The old devil hit me with his lovely daughter!
From “Out of the Frying Pun”
