Poems Archive

Fudgy the budgie is no longer pudgy
His owner has bought an adorable cat
If you looked like lunch, I’ve a Notre Dame hunch
You’d be trying to lose all your fat!

The bats are at the Vampire Pit
– The newest cinema in town –
Where seats are on the ceiling, and
They screen the picture upside down

The Manx feline entrepreneur
Attends to every detail
With nine shops on the Isle of Man
He’s called the king of retail

Piggy the pigeon takes eons to eat
It seems that that birdie is never replete
He gobbles up more than a turkey can munch
And needs at least seven full courses for lunch

“Another damning scandal looms”
Reports this morning’s Fable Times
Is there no end to winning’s greed?
So many stoop to sporting crimes!

He used to be their best detective
At spotting clues, their most effective
But now his reputation’s blighted
Inspector Culls is too short-sighted

Diesel the weasel was shuffling uneasil-
y, talking on one of those fop shows
The host said, “Hey Diesel – strange name for a weasel”
He answered, “It’s better than ‘Pop Goes’”

Mel asked me, “Why’s your dog’s name Spot?
It should be Tar or Pitch instead!”
I answered, “I hear that a lot –
You see … he has a big black head.”

thieves broke in and stole my stuff
That would be turbulently tough
And so I’ve summoned to my place
Insurance salesman Justin Case

The Queen of household cleaners
Wed the famous potter King
Their amorous demeanours
Spawned their offspring Prince Char Ming