Poems Archive

The boa developed a rash on his tummy
An ailment that makes him less brash and more chummy
He’s starving and can’t even scratch where it itches
He squeezes his prey but they leave him in stitches

Candy the cat said to Randy the rat
We should go into business together
You round up the mice – three or four would be nice
And we’ll feast like two birds of a feather

Can I pull the wool over your eyes?
Will you cotton on to my stunt?
’Twill be a surprise if you get it
’Cos denim is mined back to front

The sheepdog, tired of work said, “I
Could live much better in the sty
I’d lie all day in mud and sleep
And never see another sheep!”

Did you ever see anything zanier
Than these marsupials from Tasmania?
They sit on their haunches
And thrust out their paunches
With snouts that a crowd o’

Jeppard E Leopard is making a packet
As well as a dreadful cacophonous racket
He founded a rock band – the name is a snappy ’un
They’re known in the jungle as Def Homo Sapien

An infant kangaroopium
When born is Lilliputian
I think it looks peculium
Ensconced in its marsupium

The pelican flew very low
When landing in the pan
The ducks all dived for cover
When their leader shouted, “Man!”

Ida the spider with cider inside ’er
Spins webs that make all other spiders deride ’er
Though Clyde tried to guide ’er and Di’d often chide ’er
She’s prideless with cider inside ’er insides

The platypus appears confused
By evolution’s wit bemused
And nature proves with this hiccup
You can’t evolve when downside up