Poems Archive

Denis the dentist was biting the bullet
The canine was rotten, he’d just have to pull it
The man in the chair wouldn’t like the prognosis
He prayed it would not be his last diagnosis

Amanda the panda sits on her verandah
Observing the crowds at the zoo
This captive abuse means she can’t reproduce
Well with thousands spectating, could you?

When I sit and I picture the little blind mole, he
Is down in the darkness ensconced in the hole
He has dug since the day he was born
And I wouldn’t have known that he lives in his tunnels

Her darling ex-husband was killed in foul weather
A victim of motor cars badly behaved
If only he’d snuffed it while they were together
Just think of the lawyers’ fees she could have saved!

The tiger thought, “I’d like a snack:
Some biccies and a cuppa
And then I’ll sikh a bigger meal
And I’ll Singh for my supper

The demon-possessed man went down to the gym
And returned home set free and surprised
A spirited workout was all that it took
For the demon to be exercised

The world’s greatest pickpocket, Gaudy the gecko
Is faster than sound, disappears like an echo
When asked what he looks like, no memory lingers
It pays to blend in when you have sticky fingers
 

When the beasts were created
Nobody debated
Whether He who designed ’em
Could p’rhaps have refined ’em

Ron, my rabbit, loves ice-cream
His favourite flavour is vanilla
He messes so — it’s such a scream
That’s why I call him my chin-chiller

Mr. Grabett was a rabbit
With a terribly bad habit
He was always being nice to lady bunnies
Mrs. G. voiced her objectio