Poems Archive

I met a man the other day
A luv’ly feller, I must say,
He spoke of opportunity –
Of earning with impunity

Old King Coal was a scrawny old pol-
ar type bear with black hair and bright eyes
The blame for his wasting away can be placed
On his fatuous flair for disguise

Mr. Grabett was a rabbit
With a terribly bad habit
He was always being nice to lady bunnies
Mrs. G. voiced her objectio

The giraffe is in hospital, sick as can be
His feet in ward four and his body, ward three
His neck’s in the annexe (which doesn’t excite us)
The vet says his ailment’s acute laryngitis

The largest fairy ever born
Lives far out in the jungle
Not far away from where our Mumbo
Made his famous bungle*

Bridget the midget while drunk had a dream
While plastered she plotted and stewed on a scheme
She looks up at tall people sneering a sneer
All day and all week and all month and all year

Hind the bee belongs to Joan —
A model of the ling’rie kind
And ev’rywhere they go folks talk
About her beautiful bee, Hind

The bull was in a shop in China
Breaking items with impunity
He told the cops there’s nothing finer
Than diplomatic-style immoooonity

The altos are eagerly drawn to a brawl
The basses are touched and they’re climbing the wall
The trebles see double, they too are a menace
So the choir’s for sale – anybody for tenors?

Herman the hermit has purchased a permit
(By post) from a French civil servant called Kermit
He’s building a fence half as high as the Eiffel
And sitting and watching it, armed with a rifle