Depression is not a simple ailment. Nor is the treatment of it. I’m not talking about those times when you just feel down. I’m speaking of times when life is such a burden that you would welcome its end. When dark thoughts invade your mind and won’t be dislodged. Everything is an effort and nothing seems worthwhile. Job, family, friends, hobbies become meaningless burdens. Life is joyless. Even the people who love you and try to cheer you up are a nuisance. You want to get into bed, pull the covers over your head and stay there indefinitely.
But you can’t because life goes on, bills need to be paid, responsibilities have to be met. So what do you do? When you’re in the situation it’s almost impossible to make decisions. But decisions must be made.
So the dilemma has horns that get sharper…
Most depressions have periods—however short—where the sun breaks through the clouds. Those times need to be grabbed and put to good use. Those are incredibly valuable because in those brief interludes you can make rational decisions! Specifically, decisions about what you are going to do the next time the storm clouds close in.
For me it was, “I’m going to write. I won’t feel like it, but I’ll do it anyway. I won’t want to, but I’ll do it anyway.”
The effect is to keep some of the dark thoughts at bay which shortens the black spells and lengthens the sunny ones. When I’m thinking about a funny poem it pushes unwanted dark thoughts away.
The next question I had to answer was, “Do I want relief, or would I rather wallow?”