Poems Archive

He made a joke about a seed
One fallen from an oak
We didn’t laugh because we thought
It was acorny joke
 

His sailing boat is pretty hot
Its cabins sleep a foursome
His motorboat’s a home afloat
But his rowing boat is oarsome!

Procrastin plays the waiting game
Accomplished: he prefers a thrill
The match-up always ends the same
Procrastin 8, Accomplished nil

Denis the dentist was biting the bullet
The canine was rotten, he’d just have to pull it
The man in the chair wouldn’t like the prognosis
He prayed it would not be his last diagnosis

The dentist with his chair and drill
Can make you shudder; feel quite ill
So next time you must visit there
Munch garlic first and perm his hair!

I’ll strike with sodium chloride
And with pancake mix bespatter
Of all the crimes I love, my fav’rite
Is a “salt and batter”

“The Paper Foundation for Waste Reclamation”
Was bought by the Mafia in Kensington Mews
The owner, John Dale, said it wasn’t for sale
But they made him an offer he couldn’t reuse

Cedric the red brick is sad as can be
Since settling down how he longs to be free
His mortarfication began when he wed
So now he gets plastered each night before bed

The possum lay there still as stone
When prodded by McPherson
He wasn’t really dead, though,
He was only playing person!

The butterfly, on opening night,
Sat in the wings and trembled
Her heart was all a-flutter
As the audience assembled