Poems Archive

The cricket batted through the day
From ten o’clock ’til half past four
But with his ton two runs away
The spider trapped him leg before

Ed Elf is unconventional
A dreadlocked vegetarian
He started smoking dope
When he became a Rastafairyan

Chris the crustacean
Is filled with frustration
He thinks that his lot is quite shabby
With eyes on a stalk

Einstein and Chief Sitting Bull
(Whose middle name was ‘Talking’)
Were chatting about physics
(As they did when they went walking)

Jeppard E Leopard is making a packet
As well as a dreadful cacophonous racket
He founded a rock band – the name is a snappy ’un
They’re known in the jungle as Def Homo Sapien

The demon-possessed man went down to the gym
And returned home set free and surprised
A spirited workout was all that it took
For the demon to be exercised

Tiger, tiger, burning bright
Who the heck set you alight?
Fi-ery from tail to snout
Will someone put that darned cat out?

The palm tree isn’t married
And he doesn’t want a mate
He’s never short of company
He’s always got a date

The asp, escaping from its cage
Attacked an elk while on the loose
Surprisingly, the snake expired
Because the elk was venomoose

I tried to write a poem, trite,
But thoughts profound plagued me all night
As wit and wisdom made me stumble
I wrote, instead, one meek and humble