Poems Archive

Hugh Jamount said, “Not enough!”
I have to have a lot more stuff
I will be satisfied,” he swore
“When I have just a li’l bit more…”

The judge espied the lenses standing blinking in the dock
“The scope of your short-sighted acts caused grief and tears and shock
I have to make a spectacle of you,” M’Lud proclaimed
“It wasn’t us,” the lenses cried, “Your Honour, we were framed!”

Mr. Grabett was a rabbit
With a terribly bad habit
He was always being nice to lady bunnies
Mrs. G. voiced her objectio

Bridget the midget while drunk had a dream
While plastered she plotted and stewed on a scheme
She looks up at tall people sneering a sneer
All day and all week and all month and all year

Hind the bee belongs to Joan —
A model of the ling’rie kind
And ev’rywhere they go folks talk
About her beautiful bee, Hind

The bull was in a shop in China
Breaking items with impunity
He told the cops there’s nothing finer
Than diplomatic-style immoooonity

The altos are eagerly drawn to a brawl
The basses are touched and they’re climbing the wall
The trebles see double, they too are a menace
So the choir’s for sale – anybody for tenors?

Herman the hermit has purchased a permit
(By post) from a French civil servant called Kermit
He’s building a fence half as high as the Eiffel
And sitting and watching it, armed with a rifle

Rowena Hyena scoffed, “That’s just a rumour
Who says that our species has no sense of humour?
We find death so funny we’re always heard laughing
While bucking or gnuing or even giraffing

Humpty Dumpty, showing agility
Jumped up on a wall to parade his virility
He wanted to show off his delectability
To heck with decorum and respectability