Poems Archive

Doug the half a doughnut
Said, “I do not like cocónut
But I sing when icing’s spread upon my bonnet
And this front half of a doughnut

Graham Grape was being tortured
Pressed for answers by the swine
Though squeezed to death he told them nothing
He just let out a little whine

Pontius the pilot was flying his plane
From Vigo to Gijon and all over Spain
Wherever he flew it, it started to rain
Which nearly drove Pontius, our pilot, insane

When the beasts were created
Nobody debated
Whether He who designed ’em
Could p’rhaps have refined ’em

He waltzed around the winger
Struck the striker dumb with skill
Reminiscent of a Pele
Or a Zico from Brazil

The kleptomaniac was feeling seriously peeved
Divested of his dignity and totally aggrieved
He’d been accused of pilfering which always made him tense
By a railing manufacturer, that’s why he took a fence

Silv’rilocks knocked on the door
Though why she did, I’m not quite sure,
At ninety, she’s as deaf as wood
(Nor would she listen if she could)

Eentsy Weentsy spider, stubborn as a mule
Climbed up the spout, ignoring ridicule
“We’ll see you soon,” they mocked and as they did
Down came the rain and back to earth she slid

The cannibals, tomorrow night,
Will hold a finger supper
With lots of fancy canapés
And flagonfuls of grappa

Kurt Kangaroo was badly bitten
By a pack of dingo hounds
Vets amputated both his legs
His disappointment knows no bounds