Poems Archive

When Jock Topus the octopus
(The evil-minded doctorpus)
Dissected Goldilocktopus
To cure her chicken pocktopus

Camille the chameleon, changing her skin-tone,
Rides round on the shoulder of Angus McFinnbone
Although he adores her it’s apt to dishearten
His pet when he puts on the family tartan

Elana Banana was rotting in jail
“Appealing is fruitless,” she thought with a wail
Thick-skinned kleptomaniac – this is my fate
As hard as I try I just cannot go straight

Sue Ting, the tailor, made her clothing
Lonely, jealous, filled with loathing
Her sister, May, is always dating
How she wished that she were May Ting

Fil the phlamingo conphessed at the meeting
“It’s phrying my farynx, this upside down eating
A phriend oph mine says, iph we phurnish our blessing
He’ll open a phabulous pelicatessen!”

Amanda the panda sits on her verandah
Observing the crowds at the zoo
This captive abuse means she can’t reproduce
Well with thousands spectating, could you?

Penny remembered the words of her mother,
“Why can’t you behave like your sister and brother?
It’s simply unreas’nable,” mama would scold,
“A penguin may never complain of the cold!

Diesel the weasel was shuffling uneasil-
y, talking on one of those fop shows
The host said, “Hey Diesel – strange name for a weasel”
He answered, “It’s better than ‘Pop Goes’”

I have some itchy spots
Upon my chin which draw derision
I want to buy some calamine
Is this a rash decision?

“At last that promotion!” Luigi was thinking
A torch at the end of the warehouse was blinking
The Mafia soon would arrive with their booty
And Sicily’s sergeant was doing his duty