Poems Archive

Did you ever see anything zanier
Than these marsupials from Tasmania?
They sit on their haunches
And thrust out their paunches
With snouts that a crowd o’

A turnip squared Can't be compared So I won't.

Grown-up Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet
Her surgeon’s degree on the door
The ill-advised spider who sidled beside her
In sections is strewn ’cross the floor

The cat had half his brain removed
And lost his feline spark
No longer bright enough to mew
All he can do is bark

The witch did itch
Which made her twitch
And from her broom she did unhitch
A switch of niche

You’ll never know
How fat the turtle
Her shell’s a most
Effective gurtle

The bats are at the Vampire Pit
– The newest cinema in town –
Where seats are on the ceiling, and
They screen the picture upside down

The pig is an animal often maligned
By ignorant, biased, ungrateful mankind
I’m sure if he could he’d much rather stay thinner
We fatten him up so there’s plenty for dinner

Doug duckling’s never happy
You will often see him frown
He says that’s just the way he’s made –
He’s always feeling down

Terry from Derry eats berries on ferries
While Kerry from Bury chews cherries on bread
But Jerry’s more merry than Terry or Kerry
’Cos Jerry drinks perry and sherry in bed