Poems Archive

Hugh Jamount said, “Not enough!”
I have to have a lot more stuff
I will be satisfied,” he swore
“When I have just a li’l bit more…”

“Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ra
Too-ra-loo-ra-li
WAKE UP YOU STUPID BABY!”
Now that’s an Irish lullaby

The judge espied the lenses standing blinking in the dock
“The scope of your short-sighted acts caused grief and tears and shock
I have to make a spectacle of you,” M’Lud proclaimed
“It wasn’t us,” the lenses cried, “Your Honour, we were framed!”

I met a man the other day
A luv’ly feller, I must say,
He spoke of opportunity –
Of earning with impunity

Old King Coal was a scrawny old pol-
ar type bear with black hair and bright eyes
The blame for his wasting away can be placed
On his fatuous flair for disguise

Mr. Grabett was a rabbit
With a terribly bad habit
He was always being nice to lady bunnies
Mrs. G. voiced her objectio

The giraffe is in hospital, sick as can be
His feet in ward four and his body, ward three
His neck’s in the annexe (which doesn’t excite us)
The vet says his ailment’s acute laryngitis

The largest fairy ever born
Lives far out in the jungle
Not far away from where our Mumbo
Made his famous bungle*

Bridget the midget while drunk had a dream
While plastered she plotted and stewed on a scheme
She looks up at tall people sneering a sneer
All day and all week and all month and all year

Hind the bee belongs to Joan —
A model of the ling’rie kind
And ev’rywhere they go folks talk
About her beautiful bee, Hind