Poems Archive

Down in mouth I saw the doctor
Hoping to regain my zest
He put this stick inside my mouth
And now my tongue’s depressed

“I beg your pardon,” sang the frog
In a clear melodious note,
“I cannot croak because I’ve got
A human in my throat!”

The screech fowl is a quiet sheep
That swims from dune to dune
Though terrified of turnip-bites
To egg-sting it’s immune

Ron, my rabbit, loves ice-cream
His favourite flavour is vanilla
He messes so — it’s such a scream
That’s why I call him my chin-chiller

The royal carpenter appears
Before the court today at nine
He’ll prove the throne room floor adheres
To palace standards of design

The Thai tie tying race is on
Four tying Thais for honours vie
The title’s never yet been won
… It’s always been a tie

Patrick pig droned on and on
Relating stories of the war*
His stymied wives snored on and on
He really was a dreadful boar

The cannibals are cooking
(Again) – cordon bleu surprise
The missionaries from Lourdes
Make fine frogs’ legs and great french fries

Cadger the badger was badgering Madge – a
Cute lady – to close out his bachelor days
But she wants him to dig her a spanking new home
And he’s terribly sett in his ways

Cedric the red brick is sad as can be
Since settling down how he longs to be free
His mortarfication began when he wed
So now he gets plastered each night before bed