Poems Archive

When you see a giraffe who is starting to laugh
You can’t help but join in, it’s contagious
Cos his skinny legs shake till you think that they’ll break
And his wobbling head looks outrageous

The catamaran chased the mouseamaran
All over the bay till he caught her
So the mouseamaran called the dogamaran
And begged him to come and to thwart her

I dated one summer a lady named Susan
Whose father, a drunkard, was oftentimes bruisin’
Her mother and her for no rhyme or good reason
But all the year round it was “broad-beating season”.
At first I could not understand her distraction
Until I found out, then I sprang into action

Grown-up Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet
Her surgeon’s degree on the door
The ill-advised spider who sidled beside her
In sections is strewn ’cross the floor

The cat had half his brain removed
And lost his feline spark
No longer bright enough to mew
All he can do is bark

The witch did itch
Which made her twitch
And from her broom she did unhitch
A switch of niche

You’ll never know
How fat the turtle
Her shell’s a most
Effective gurtle

The pig is an animal often maligned
By ignorant, biased, ungrateful mankind
I’m sure if he could he’d much rather stay thinner
We fatten him up so there’s plenty for dinner

Doug duckling’s never happy
You will often see him frown
He says that’s just the way he’s made –
He’s always feeling down

The envelope, who’d served his seven years in Zenda jail,
When leaving, stamped Frank on the chest and caused his heart to fail
The judge addressed the culprit, “Sir, you are no first offender
I sentence you to fifteen more. Be gone! Return to Zenda!”