Poems Archive

The movie director — a terrible grouch —
Said, “I’ll give you the part on the casting couch.”
The actress thought he — what a silly mistake! —
Meant fishing for trout on a seat by the lake

The baby bees hived off to find another home to buzz in
In single file they flew, there must have been about three duzzin
“We must learn to fly together,” called out Lightyear, hale and hearty,
“So tomorrow we will gather for our first How Swarming party!”

Your newt’s ugly
My newt’s cute
Your newt’s huge
My newt’s minute

The tiger thought, “I’d like a snack:
Some biccies and a cuppa
And then I’ll sikh a bigger meal
And I’ll Singh for my supper

Cleaver the beaver’s an underachiever
While others work hard, he was born parasitic
His cutting indictment of logging’s excitement
He says, is a part of his job as a critic

Daniel Nutz resigned his post
With that old job he got too bored
He took employment washing cats
And changed his name to Claude

Mrs Claus, fed up one day
Complained, “I’ve had enough!
You’re jolly in the grotto, but
With me you’re always gruff

Sparrow Hood is not as famous
As his elder brother
Nor as colourful a character,
So says his mother

Rex and Ann are ultra-thin
They diet to get sexier
They’re skin ’n’ bone, and when they phone
They say, “It’s Ann ’n’ Rex ’ere!”

The button went to see a shrink
Who asked him why he was so stressed
He answered, “When I’m set to on
I always feel so darned depressed