Poems Archive

The butterfly, on opening night,
Sat in the wings and trembled
Her heart was all a-flutter
As the audience assembled

Charlotte the starlet’s a bit of a … prude
“Keep your clothes ON!” she was taught
A script that is crude, rude or lewd is eschewed
Her career – I fear – will be short

The cannibal in ancient Rome
Devoured the empress – then much later –
When fighting in the Colosseum
He wasn’t so glad ’e ate ’e

The orchid asked the baby goat
“Hey! little feller, what’s your name?”
“My name is Gotour Kidd, orchid
My dad, a painter, he’s to blame.*

The average wife loves the hard-working life
She smiles when he leaves all the chores for her
Why! she only got wed to put sheets on his bed
And to stop him from opening doors for her

The ant can make a tuneful noise
When squashed he doesn’t just go splat
It’s very soft, but listen close
You’ll hear it’s in the key B-flat

Billie the Bear feeling grumpy and moody
So lonely and tired, morose and só broody
The boars* had no clue ’bout romance and seduction
Reducing their chance of delish reproduction

There’s not much hair upon my head
With age, I wondered where it goes
But then I realized instead
It plugs my ears and fills my nose

Bill, a gorilla as strong as Godzilla
Pumped iron ’til struck by catastrophe
The babes who would sigh at his shape said, “Good-bye”
When his muscles all started to atrophy

The boa developed a rash on his tummy
An ailment that makes him less brash and more chummy
He’s starving and can’t even scratch where it itches
He squeezes his prey but they leave him in stitches