Poems Archive

On my chin there is a dimple
And inside it lurks a pimple
Big and ugly, nestling snugly deep within
Of a girlfriend I am dreaming –

Sir Galla had a dreadful night
Around the round card table
He owed Sir Lance a lot of gold –
To pay he was unable

Lee crumples clothing for a living
But two weeks’ notice she is giving
She’ll spend a few months convalescing
Because her job was so de-pressing

The screech fowl is a quiet sheep
That swims from dune to dune
Though terrified of turnip-bites
To egg-sting it’s immune

Ron, my rabbit, loves ice-cream
His favourite flavour is vanilla
He messes so — it’s such a scream
That’s why I call him my chin-chiller

The royal carpenter appears
Before the court today at nine
He’ll prove the throne room floor adheres
To palace standards of design

The Thai tie tying race is on
Four tying Thais for honours vie
The title’s never yet been won
… It’s always been a tie

The cannibals are cooking
(Again) – cordon bleu surprise
The missionaries from Lourdes
Make fine frogs’ legs and great french fries

I bought myself a dachshund, which
I thought was rather clever
No, not the dog, the choice I made,
The dog’s the dumbest ever

’Arry the adder, on top of the ladder
’Ad ’ad a surprise and been jolted
He got such a fright that he closed his eyes tight
And, without looking where, ’Arry bolted