Poems Archive

A parrot living by itself
You might say lives in solitude
But if it flocked with other birds
Would you class that as pollytude?

Two hundred eggs
Laid by one turtle?
I think she can
Be classed as furtle!

The tiny town of Elle-on-Sea in winter is chaotic
The unexpected happens all the time, and the exotic,
Impossible, illogical, the fanciful as well –
You never know what’s coming on a freezing day in Elle

When I go out to dinner
Snails are not my fav’rite pita
I much prefer fast foods
So I’ll most often order cheetah

The advertisers tell us if
We buy their brand of cigarettes
We’ll soon be plagued by pretty girls
Blonde bombshells, redheads and brunettes

Charlotte the starlet’s a bit of a … prude
“Keep your clothes ON!” she was taught
A script that is crude, rude or lewd is eschewed
Her career – I fear – will be short

The cannibal in ancient Rome
Devoured the empress – then much later –
When fighting in the Colosseum
He wasn’t so glad ’e ate ’e

The average wife loves the hard-working life
She smiles when he leaves all the chores for her
Why! she only got wed to put sheets on his bed
And to stop him from opening doors for her

The ant can make a tuneful noise
When squashed he doesn’t just go splat
It’s very soft, but listen close
You’ll hear it’s in the key B-flat

Billie the Bear feeling grumpy and moody
So lonely and tired, morose and só broody
The boars* had no clue ’bout romance and seduction
Reducing their chance of delish reproduction