Poems Archive

The dentist and podiatrist
Will soon divorce, their love dismissed
What happened to their fairy tale?
They crushed it, fighting tooth and nail

In Stockholm, Bo, the crow enquired,
How far’s it to the steeple, Bjork?”
He answered, “Four miles if you fly
Or seven as the people walk.”

Is there rhubarb in the next world?
I should really like to know.
If there’s not it’s not worth dying
For I love my rhubarb so.

Pharaoh the goose was a silver-tongued fowl
Who seemed to investors as wise as an owl
He offered the earth and he promised a dream
But Pharaoh the goose ran a pyramid scheme

The chilli thinks he’s pretty hot
The carrot, she’s a jewel
The bean will string you any line
But cucumbers are cool

Bert bodybuilder is obsessed
With all the muscles in his chest
He struts round topless for publicity
Exhibiting his pec-centricity

My mouse squeaks, it’s a beastly din
That ought to be unlawful
I tried some oil – it shut him up
But made the chips taste awful

In wintertime I caught a cold
And happy I was not
It’s funny, though, in summertime
I never catch a hot

Trapeze troupe artists Kate and Lyle
Performed their act, “The Helicopter”
Though dating sweetly for a while —
When she began to nag, he dropped ’er

The rock was feeling Boulder
And so Boulder got irate
Rock knew that she was married
And she had a jealous mate