Poems Archive

While trotting round the neighbourhood,
I contemplated horses
Though saddled with a nagging wife,
There’s no equine divorces

A tubby tabby, Tibbles,
Has a chronic case of nibbles
So he eats at eight and every hour thereafter
As he walks along the street

The beetle, black and very small,
Rolls dung into a little ball
I wouldn’t have the wherewithal
To do the beetle’s job at all

Will wolf was very, very hot
And filled with bile and loathing
He hated when it was his turn
To wear that darned sheep’s clothing

I’m going to save electricity
I’ll start with a meagre amount
I’m taking a 40 watt bulb to the bank
To open a current account!

Down in mouth I saw the doctor
Hoping to regain my zest
He put this stick inside my mouth
And now my tongue’s depressed

When Jock Topus the octopus
(The evil-minded doctorpus)
Dissected Goldilocktopus
To cure her chicken pocktopus

Candy the cat said to Randy the rat
We should go into business together
You round up the mice – three or four would be nice
And we’ll feast like two birds of a feather

Terry from Derry eats berries on ferries
While Kerry from Bury chews cherries on bread
But Jerry’s more merry than Terry or Kerry
’Cos Jerry drinks perry and sherry in bed

Woody the woodpecker started to pout
Fed up with wood-wood-wood day in and day out
“It beggars belief that this life could excite,
I cannot endure it, this bark has no bite!