Poems Archive

Camille the chameleon, changing her skin-tone,
Rides round on the shoulder of Angus McFinnbone
Although he adores her it’s apt to dishearten
His pet when he puts on the family tartan

There’s not much hair upon my head
With age, I wondered where it goes
But then I realized instead
It plugs my ears and fills my nose

In leopards’ church the members choose
Their seats when they are tots
They sit there their whole lives because
They cannot change their spots

The psychiatrist philosophized
About his fruitful life
Four children and ten grandkids
And his ever-faithful wife

The beetle, black and very small,
Rolls dung into a little ball
I wouldn’t have the wherewithal
To do the beetle’s job at all

Will wolf was very, very hot
And filled with bile and loathing
He hated when it was his turn
To wear that darned sheep’s clothing

I’m going to save electricity
I’ll start with a meagre amount
I’m taking a 40 watt bulb to the bank
To open a current account!

Down in mouth I saw the doctor
Hoping to regain my zest
He put this stick inside my mouth
And now my tongue’s depressed

When Jock Topus the octopus
(The evil-minded doctorpus)
Dissected Goldilocktopus
To cure her chicken pocktopus

Terry from Derry eats berries on ferries
While Kerry from Bury chews cherries on bread
But Jerry’s more merry than Terry or Kerry
’Cos Jerry drinks perry and sherry in bed