They Might Have a Joint Too
The cannibals, tomorrow night,
Will hold a finger supper
With lots of fancy canapés
And flagonfuls of grappa
It’s Cold Without a Jumper
Kurt Kangaroo was badly bitten
By a pack of dingo hounds
Vets amputated both his legs
His disappointment knows no bounds
Her Name Was Aquilla
I fed my pig on pineapples
A fruit she really loved to savour
And when we ate her, Sunday last
She had a porcupiney flavour
Now I Need Two Aspirins
The juicccy part above the knee
But firssst I’d like to sssee you beg
For me to ssset your sssad ssself free.”
Unnerved, I struggled hard to plead
Yet soon was warming to my task,
“I’ll give you anything you need,
You know you only have to ask.
“O virtuous viper, I entreat
You not to take my life away
Ophidian fair, your price I’ll meet
Just tell me what I have to pay.”
He cocked his head as though the thought
Of ransom pleased his scaly mind
A noble pastime – to extort
Possessions prized by humankind
The Separation’s Permanent
Her boyfriend, leaving, claimed
Her cold demeanour was to blame
Irate, she set his hair on fire
Now he’s just her old flame
Spot the Mistake
Finding a tiger called Spot is surprising
An epithet needing some rationalising
He’s one of a little known breed from Kilkenny
So rare David Attenborough couldn’t find any