Poems Archive

Old King Coal was a scrawny old pol-
ar type bear with black hair and bright eyes
The blame for his wasting away can be placed
On his fatuous flair for disguise

Poor Key the pig has locks of hair
That flourish in his larynx
He lost his voice six weeks ago
For reasons now apparynx

The hedgehogs have a soccer team,
I was surprised to hear,
A pretty useful one that won
The forest league last year

Bert bodybuilder is obsessed
With all the muscles in his chest
He struts round topless for publicity
Exhibiting his pec-centricity

Two residents of Warsaw wed
With nought in common so she fled
So different and cold of heart
It’s clear the two were Poles apart

As a snail I’m never lonely
Company I never lack
With mi cordial compan-i-on
Michelle upon mi back

The time-piece on the wall annoyed
The inmates of the mental block
Because the thing was always right
They swapped it for a cuckoo clock

“At last that promotion!” Luigi was thinking
A torch at the end of the warehouse was blinking
The Mafia soon would arrive with their booty
And Sicily’s sergeant was doing his duty

Jake, the drake, was the Lord of the Lake
Who had made all his money in scent
He whipped up a fragrance no duck could resist
And he flogged it wherever he went

Morty Fied groped Billie Uss
And Billie Uss slapped Morty Fide
So Morty Fide felt bilious
And Billie Uss felt mortified