Poems Archive

“What happened to the unicorn?”
My daughter asked with face forlorn
And then began to sob and mourn
(She’s been like this since she was born)

Cudd the bear (whose middle name was Lee)
Lay dozing in her lair
While musing ’bout her cousin
Fuzzy Wuzzy with no hair

I was sitting in my flat this afternoon – OK lying on the bed having a catnap – when I saw something move outside on the balcony. And as I live on the third floor, I thought to myself, “Self, that’s very odd! It must be a cat-burglar, come to steal my cat.”

Big Maroon Wheelchairinghood
Has eyesight that is far from good
It was, the reader may recall
Quite awful, too, when she was small

Tassie Tern caused consternation
With her lack of conversation
She wed a mute, to which her brother
Said, “One dumb tern deserves another”

The cricket batted through the day
From ten o’clock ’til half past four
But with his ton two runs away
The spider trapped him leg before

Ed Elf is unconventional
A dreadlocked vegetarian
He started smoking dope
When he became a Rastafairyan

Chris the crustacean
Is filled with frustration
He thinks that his lot is quite shabby
With eyes on a stalk

Einstein and Chief Sitting Bull
(Whose middle name was ‘Talking’)
Were chatting about physics
(As they did when they went walking)

The demon-possessed man went down to the gym
And returned home set free and surprised
A spirited workout was all that it took
For the demon to be exercised