Poems Archive

The button went to see a shrink
Who asked him why he was so stressed
He answered, “When I’m set to on
I always feel so darned depressed

The beetle, black and very small,
Rolls dung into a little ball
I wouldn’t have the wherewithal
To do the beetle’s job at all

Candy the cat said to Randy the rat
We should go into business together
You round up the mice – three or four would be nice
And we’ll feast like two birds of a feather

On my chin there is a dimple
And inside it lurks a pimple
Big and ugly, nestling snugly deep within
Of a girlfriend I am dreaming –

Sir Galla had a dreadful night
Around the round card table
He owed Sir Lance a lot of gold –
To pay he was unable

The sheepdog, tired of work said, “I
Could live much better in the sty
I’d lie all day in mud and sleep
And never see another sheep!”

The possum lay there still as stone
When prodded by McPherson
He wasn’t really dead, though,
He was only playing person!

In Bolivia, the soldiers stationed on the North-West border
Could not see o’er the wall their neighbours built to curb disorder
They tried a tower built of wood, a ladder made of rope
But they only solved their problem when they built a Peruscope

Piggy the pigeon takes eons to eat
It seems that that birdie is never replete
He gobbles up more than a turkey can munch
And needs at least seven full courses for lunch

Lee crumples clothing for a living
But two weeks’ notice she is giving
She’ll spend a few months convalescing
Because her job was so de-pressing