Poems Archive

Cadger the badger was badgering Madge – a
Cute lady – to close out his bachelor days
But she wants him to dig her a spanking new home
And he’s terribly sett in his ways

Morty Fied groped Billie Uss
And Billie Uss slapped Morty Fide
So Morty Fide felt bilious
And Billie Uss felt mortified

“I beg your pardon,” sang the frog
In a clear melodious note,
“I cannot croak because I’ve got
A human in my throat!”

A turnip squared Can't be compared So I won't.

Stephanie the starving stripper
Will doff her T-shirt for a kipper
For mutton chops no skirt she’ll wear
A steak removes her brassiere ..

Diesel the weasel was shuffling uneasil-
y, talking on one of those fop shows
The host said, “Hey Diesel – strange name for a weasel”
He answered, “It’s better than ‘Pop Goes’”

Jeppard E Leopard is making a packet
As well as a dreadful cacophonous racket
He founded a rock band – the name is a snappy ’un
They’re known in the jungle as Def Homo Sapien

I bought a book on helium
It really made me frown
The darned thing kept me up all night –
I couldn’t put it down!

When I sit and I picture the little blind mole, he
Is down in the darkness ensconced in the hole
He has dug since the day he was born
And I wouldn’t have known that he lives in his tunnels

The diff’rence between hot and cold
Milk? Really! That’s an easy ’un
The hot comes from a jersey cow
The cold comes from a Friesian