Lonely, I’m Sew Lonely
Sue Ting, the tailor, made her clothing
Lonely, jealous, filled with loathing
Her sister, May, is always dating
How she wished that she were May Ting
Swords are Too Quick
It just isn’t true that I wish you were dead
I wish you perpetual anguish instead
A lifetime of watching and waiting in dread
While the Bluebird of Damocles nests ’bove your head!
Phish Phingers Are My Phavourite
Fil the phlamingo conphessed at the meeting
“It’s phrying my farynx, this upside down eating
A phriend oph mine says, iph we phurnish our blessing
He’ll open a phabulous pelicatessen!”
Hell on earth?
Mr Carson, trainee parson
Spends his nights committing arson
He tells me he cannot endure it
But cannot find a way to curate
Bing Crosby Got It Wrong
“Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ra
Too-ra-loo-ra-li
WAKE UP YOU STUPID BABY!”
Now that’s an Irish lullaby
What a Bird-brain!
Numskull the gull is abysmally dull
I told him today that I keep-a-bull
In my shop in Beijing selling pottery – Ming –
He believed me – that bird is so peoplible!