And She Smokes a Pipe
The sexiest plumber you ever laid eyes on
Is living in Poole in East Dorset
Her bushy blonde hair and long legs with great thighs on
Have earned her the name Farrah Faucet
It Figures
Torvill the tortoise caused keen consternation
She doesn’t believe in this hyped hibernation
She met this guy, Dean, and for months they’ve been dating
She’s not into sleeping, she’d rather be skating
She’d Have Got the Insurance Too
Her darling ex-husband was killed in foul weather
A victim of motor cars badly behaved
If only he’d snuffed it while they were together
Just think of the lawyers’ fees she could have saved!
We Thought He Was Nuts
He made a joke about a seed
One fallen from an oak
We didn’t laugh because we thought
It was acorny joke
Pas D’elle Yeux Rhône Canoux
His sailing boat is pretty hot
Its cabins sleep a foursome
His motorboat’s a home afloat
But his rowing boat is oarsome!
“Timber!”
When the wooden legged Czech
Felt the woodenpecker’s peck
He beseeched and urged and wailed and wept and begged him;
But the ’pecker, though he heard,